Hooking up v someone hotter than you is fun; date someone hotter than you—eh, no so much. Like most things in life, this dichotomous fuck-me-hard jealousy 101 instance isn’t easy, yet you’ll get through it, maybe.
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Let me explain. About a year ago, ns hooked up through my currently boyfriend at a typical, sleazy first weekend away at college banger. I was ~ above the brink of sex-related combustion, some specialists may have suggested. It had actually been a convoluted, nearing year and also a half since my last sweaty, 3 a.m. Inconspicuous blowjob and also I started habitually precumming at the site of any type of ol’ man who’d give me the slightest smidge of eye contact. For this reason naturally, when this Cocky Boys-looking beauty, beauty approached ME as Ke$ha’s “Die Young” dimmed the apartment’s influx, ns dropped come me knee without inspection or doubt: this prick is mine.
It’s among those 21st century love story that stem from mommy-don’t-look run floor oral. Most of the guys I at some point take home share a comparable genesis. The point is, ns physically repulse plenty of queers: ns pudgy and also not in an appeal “dad bod” way, i dress rather femininely (oftentimes my outfits derive exclusively from Forever 21’s “Woman on the Town” collection), and—worst that all—I to be painfully insecure and also anxious, leaving my body uncomfortably juxtaposed in society settings. So if a man is not ER tequila drunk tied or tripping beyond measurable means and mistaking me for part Darren Criss reincarnation, ns not gaining laid.
I’ve grown to expropriate this fate. If ns fortunate enough to secure a hook up, I’ll host on for dear life until the glimmer of the budding relationship fades away. Luckily, this one night was standing stood the test of time. #FeelingBlessed
Nonetheless, my current relationship no much various from my previous ones. I’m grappling with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy, reasoning I’ll it is in disregarded amid a short-lived lapse once my boyfriend records the sight of a hotter, more toned man with probably a much fuller beard than me. It’d it is in an upgrade, and I kind of i will not ~ blame the for taking the bait.
I’ve always been taken into consideration the “ugly one” in mine relationships. A friend when ranked me a 5.2 when my companion at the moment came in in ~ a heavy 8.6. “This is U-N-A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E,” i remember interjecting. “I to be AT least a 6.0. You can’t go over the three point sphere in the date world; that treason, basically going against everything Girl Code!” i flailed my arms about, understanding I might never accomplish the guy I loved enough to the point where he wouldn’t have to cheat. Sometimes appearance is trump, sadly.
It’s different—and much more difficult—when you’re attracted to human being of the exact same sex. An initial off, you’re constantly being compared, and innately trying come equate yourselves every the time. Beginning off with straightforward facial variances like, “Oh, mine chin is narrow, however square if yours is an ext round and also complimentary.” Then, gaining into the realities in ~ hand, favor “Wow, your prick is totally dual the size of mine” and also other nuances like, “Your ass can nearly take 2 cocks in ~ a time—you’re immaculate, boyf!”
Loving who hotter than you is simply plain hard. You begin to feel a little too comfortable as a makeshift gargoyle stagnantly watching over Gisele overcoming the human being with ease and also an unwavering sense of self. She may prosper and eventually take under Tyra, yet you’ll constantly just it is in a bump of cement she’ll take host of native time come time.
It’s like—yeah, I see your naked body on a semi-regular basis, yet please nothing look me in the eyes during sex; I like to be face down where you deserve to imagine fucking who else—someone who’s actually worth it. It’s not your job to do a fuss about it.
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You need to just put there and decompress your indignant thoughts, hope that at some point you’ll feel her worth and get the fuck the end of the mindset.